My lifetime has been filled with relatively few advances in the field of candy bars. Around 1988, Caramello was introduced, but the dulcimer tones of the theme song hid the sad truth that the innovation was little more than Rolos made into a candy bar. And Whatchmacallit, introduced in 1991, has never captured the imagination the way the true power players in the candy bar derby have. Snickers, Baby Ruth, Milky Way, Three Musketeers (the Thoreau ideal of candy bar) all continue to reign supreme.

Until now.

Reese's has introduced its latest magnum opus, the styled "Fast Break." You will notice that the candy bar's insides (see diagram) contain both chocolate and peanut butter, a potent combination. I have long enjoyed eating both in tandem, as enjoyable as sex with both a blonde and a brunette at the same time, nature's menage a trois. But there is something else which elevates this bar into a new realm of tasty goodness.

TWO KINDS OF NOUGAT! I was not aware that nougat was possibly flavored! I always assumed that nougat was something found in the ground, one of nature's tastiest natural resources, like striking gold, an ambitious young miner with a nose for sugar finding it deep in the Colorado hills- "we'll never have to work again, Myra, I've struck NOUGAT!" Myra is the miner's wife.

Chocolate nougat. Peanut butter nougat. A nougat overload, nebulous nefarious narcissistic nougat!

This is just the absolutely best candy bar I've ever eaten. A friend has promised to bring me a box of them from his home. But I sure haven't seen them yet. I think he just tells me this so I can yearn for them while he laughs and eats the box he promised me in the comfort of his own room.

Meanwhile, I eat unfulfilling, nougatless meals. See uninteresting, nougatless friends. Sleep nougatful sleep with beautiful dark chocolate nougat lush backgrounds as I swim in creamy peanut butter nougat lakes off the coast of Nougatland.

I highly reccommend Reese's Fast Break.