Her tongue brushed against my earlobe.

"Laura, we've been over this."

"It still doesn't make sense to me. How is it fair to you to go a month without sex? If Gina really loved you, she'd want you to have sex with me. Did you know in some countries that a month of sexual frustration forced upon you by your girlfriend is actually against the law? If you lived in Kenya, Gina could go to jail!"

"That's blatantly false."

Laura and I had been friends since our freshman year of college. In fact, I met Gina that fall on my way to meet Laura for lunch. Since Laura had a boyfriend, I felt no guilt in flirting with Gina in front of the English building, getting her telephone number as Laura exited. And all I got from Laura was good-natured ribbing as we walked toward a nearby cafe.

Gina and I became instant lovers. The intensity of the relationship did not provide any time for reflection about the intensity of the relationship. Soon after we started dating, she moved into my dorm room, with hers becoming a glorified storage area. It is what made her transferring so much more painful.

Gina was directionless when she came to college. Her high school experience had taught her that she wanted to be different from others. Her college experience revealed to her how important it was to her to be the same. A total lack of self-enjoyment led her to vacillate between these two extremes, with little chance she'd ever find what actually defined her.

Was this the girl I intended to fall in love with in college? Of course not. College was supposed to be about finding the woman whose quick wit matched her beauty, whose passion for life matched her passion for sex, possibly involving handcuffs and a dessert from Zabar's.

But I was too busy loving Gina to question why it was happening. I was too busy telling her how beautiful she was to realize that it wasn't my job to make her feel it. Nor would I be able to do so. She had grown up without love, and no amount of work on my part could ever make her feel what I felt.

Sophomore year, Gina found anthropolgy the way born-agains find Jesus. Her zealotry filled the empty parts in her conversations which had previously been found between discussions of expensive things she wished to own and expensive things she already did own. Only a belief that she would be unable to find another kept her with me. Only a belief that I could make her whole kept me with her.

But you'd never know it from our conversations.

"What we have can't be broken by distance," she said as we drove to a celebratory dinner the night she was accepted. "What we have will last. I don't want to break up. I only want you."

The idea was that we'd see each other every weekend, trading off the three hour driving responsibility. The reality was far different.

We'd see each other about once a month. Gina, before college, had never had anything she'd cared about doing. Suddenly, the chance to graduate with honors from a prestigous university called to her. The siren call of self-respect seemed only hard work away. All I had to offer her back was love.

Laura, too, had a long distance relationship, but simply didn't take it very seriously.

"Does he know that you cheat on him?"

"No, and I don't know that he cheats on me."

Laura had been with Jared since junior year of high school. He went to University of Michigan, and flew in to see her roughly once every two months.

"We make love, swear undying devotion, and then he goes back to school and f--ks sorority girls. Why should I remain chaste? I love sex, and so does he."

"But do you have an open relationship?"

"Of course not! We just ignore the idea that we're not exclusive."

I had never cheated on a girlfriend, and found the idea hard to understand. As I puzzled, Laura took her shirt off. The rented movie droned in the background, as we cuddled close on my bed.

"Laura, put you're shirt back on."

"I was warm! Do you want me to be uncomfortable?"

"Isn't your boyfriend flying in in like two days?"

"Who wants to wait two days for sex. If you think anyone really has long distance relationships, you're crazy. Maybe religious people who wouldn't f--k anyway. But here, in the godless world of college? Come on! I'll bet Gina's with someone right now."

Laura saw my eyes well up with tears, and relented. She put her shirt back on. "You know, you're bound to give a girl a complex. Are my breasts misshapen? My eyes discolored? Do I have something in my teeth?"

"We've been through this. You are very attractive. I don't like the idea of cheating on my girlfriend." It was difficult not to grit my teeth as I said this. Desire burned from her tongue against my earlobe, and the lust within me banked upon itself. I hadn't had sex in 27 days.

Jared flew in the next day, and we all gathered in the lounge area of the dorm. An impromptu party began, and as a joint was passed around, Jared and I began to make conversation.

"What do you think of Coach Amaker?"

"I like him. I think he'll bring better recruits to the team. We haven't had a great recruiting class since the Fab Five."

"Do you go to many games?"

"I try to get to every home game. It's difficult to get tickets." It was hard for me to imagine, considering that the crowds at my school's basketball games rarely topped 75.

We continued to talk, and after the joint was finished, assorted leeches scurried back to their rooms to enjoy the high. Laura had gone off in search of another eighth to get through the weekend, leaving just the two of us in the lounge.

"So are you the one f--king my girlfriend while I'm away?" The question came out of nowhere, and the pain was evident in his voice as Jared said it to me.

"Jared, Laura and I are just friends."

"It's ok." The effects of the assorted evening's activities made lying back on the sofa more plausible than sitting up straight for Jared. "I don't usually want to know, but I want to know tonight."

"I'm serious. I've never been with her."

"Why not? You gay? I see the way she looks at you. You could totally hit that."

"Well, I have a girlfriend."

"So do I, but I also have a sorority house next door to my frat."

I didn't know what the proper etiquette was for telling someone why you weren't sleeping with his girlfriend, so I made an excuse and left.

The next day I left for Gina's. It was her birthday, and she was having a gathering of her friends in her dorm. When I got there, she was already in a small group of people. A guy named Roy was telling a story about drinking.

"So by the time this Rachel got to the party, she had already had about 9 drinks. So instead of getting to sleep with her, I ended up getting to hold her hair all night."

Everyone laughed, and Gina introduced me around. It seemed that people were taking turns telling colorful anecdotes about people they knew who had vomited. I didn't have any good vomiting stories, so I went to Gina's window where the alcohol was located, and poured myself a drink. The crowd began to get larger, and eventually 15 people sprawled around Gina's dorm room and into her hallway. I struck up a conversation with a rather homely girl named Fran, who began to tell me drunkenly about her crush on Roy.

"But he's totally trying to get with Gina," Fran said, either not knowing I was her boyfriend or too drunk to care, "and I don't have a chance."

I reassured her that Roy's affections could be fickle, and moved closer to the group with Gina and Roy. I had purposefully avoided staying close to Gina after she explained how important it was to her that these people were her friends, not our friends. I was thrilled that she was making friends, though a bit disappointed that she seemed to attract largely uninteresting people.

Now, however, I began to watch the interactions and listen to Roy. Roy was the center of things, someone who uses loud voices to create laughter instead of wit, which is actually a plus in a drunken setting. He was about 5'5", with about a three day growth of beard, and an earring which I felt sure made him feel as "badass" as a psychology major at an Ivy League school could be.

What was more amazing was the way Gina was completely taken in by him. She was a naive, first-time shopper for people. Roy was the used car made out of cardboard. Yet it impressed her, because it had a sparkling rhinestone windshield, which she mistook for quality craftmanship. The way she hung on every word, she was ready to buy.

The discussion turned to Halloween costumes. I knew Gina would buy one from the store, either an expensive one to show off her outfit or a revealing one to show off her sex appeal, the only aspect of her personality she was able to bring to bear on a social situation.

"I was thinking I could go as James Bond," Roy said, after being careful to note that he loved the music Gina had put into the CD player.

I laughed at that. You needed to be 5'11" or more to dress as James Bond. Under 5'11" you could dress as Indiana Jones. Under 5'6" you had two choices: Louie DePalma from Taxi or Alvy Singer from Annie Hall.

"I could see that," Gina smiled sweetly at Roy, and I saw him gently stroke her face.

"I thought you were staying over," Gina said after I told her I was leaving.

"I really can't. I have a lot of work to do. I just didn't want to miss your birthday."

"Well, I'm so happy you came! Your present was just beautiful. Thank you so much."

"I'm glad you like it."

We kissed at the door, the rest of the guests having gone to bed. I didn't look forward to the 1 AM drive home, but I needed not to be with her right then.

"Didn't I tell you this would work for us?" Gina said.

"You certainly did."

"I love you."

"I love you too."